Good Friday - The Seven Last Words

• MY GOD, MY GOD, WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?

(See reflection for Palm Sunday)

• I THIRST.

Was Jesus really thirsty and wanted water? Or did he mean something else? Was he perhaps longing for a response of faith from his people who were the original recepients of the Promise and who now were refusing his offer of salvation?

Does Jesus also thirst for my response of faith?

What is faith?

It seems it was Bishop Bacani who explained faith as paniniwala (belief), pagtitiwala (trust) and pagtalima (obedience). On God's instruction Abraham left his father's house to go to a foreign land. Abraham believed in God's word. He put his trust in God. He obeyed God's instruction. Abraham became a model of faith for us.

Faith seems to be so easy a response to give. But I realize there are two acts of faith I may not be ready to give yet. I can not as yet unconditionally accept that God loves me. I can not as yet believe without a shade of doubt that will take care of me.

But faith is a gift from God. I can only pray that one day I will be able to give my full response of faith to him.

• IT IS ACCOMPLISHED

"Look pa, no hands!" A child proudly shows his father his achievement. Although Jesus spoke these words when he was in agony on the cross, I can't help but imagining Jesus telling his Father proudly: "Pa, the work you gave me to do? I finally did it! Mission accomplished!"

What does God want me to do? Why did he bring me into this world? What is my life work?

In my heart of hearts I know he wanted me to do something for young people in the context of schools. But now that I have crossed the threshold of midlife, I am still searching. I am waiting to discover it.

And since midlife means being conscious of the remaining years of my life, there is some urgency is discovering it. I wouldn't want to die with many regrets. I wouldn't want to die having done nothing with my life.

• FATHER, INTO YOUR HANDS, I COMMEND MY SPIRIT.

If I were to translate this freely, it would read this way: Dad, ikaw na bahala sa akin. Jesus was entrusting himself to his Father. He could do so because he was so sure of his Father's love.

For me a father is one who provides, who protects. He is the one you can run to. You can rely on him because you can trust him. That is not how I look at God. Does this indicate that I have problem with relationships? With my parents perhaps?

I can't create a father-son relationship with God just by willing it. I don't know how that kind of relationship can be created. I can only pray for it.

• I SOLEMNLY ASSURE YOU. TODAY YOU WILL BE WITH ME IN PARADISE.

Fulton Sheen observed that the Good Thief was really good at "thievery" because even at the very end he managed to "steal" paradise.

That thief was really fortunate. As far as I know, he was the only one who was assured by Jesus himself of going to heaven.

Will I go to heaven? If the basis is the good I've done, then no way can I enter heaven. But if I rely on the goodness of God, then there is reason to hope.

I am further encouraged by the words of St Peter: God wants all men to be saved.

• FATHER, FORGIVE THEM FOR THEY DO NOT KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING.

Some people are able to forgive and forget quickly. I am one of those who hold on to hurts. And so through the years the anger is there in my heart. It is there dormant. But given the right stimuli, the anger awakens and poisons my mind and my heart.

I am not alone. C.S. Lewis confessed that it was only when he reached adulthood that he was able to finally forgive a teacher who had hurt him when he was a school boy.

I have been able to express my hurts to two people already. I know there is still some anger left in my heart. But I am really thankful that when I told them about the cause of my anger, they listened and did not defend themselves.

I am blessed that God is God and not man. I mean if God were like man, could I ever hope to be forgiven again and again? And because God is able to read into my heart and into my mind, I am certain that he knows what I am going through. I am confident that he understands me. And therefore, his judgment would be merciful.

• WOMAN, THERE IS YOUR SON. SON, THERE IS YOUR MOTHER.

I remember this story from way, way back. There was this boy who would pass by the statue of the Blessed Mother when he would go down the stairs. He would stop by her statue and say: Please be a mother to me. Then one day after he had said the usual formula, the Blessed Mother answered him by saying: "And when will you be a son to me?"

We Filipinos found it so easily to love the Blessed Mother. Why? Because she was presented to us as a mother and we Filipinos love our mothers fiercely.

My mother passed away many years ago. I miss her especially now because I am fixing my baby album. I see her pictures when she was a young mother. There are those pictures of her and me when I was a month and 26 days old.

I don't know but I am unable to relate to the Blessed Mother in the same way that I relate with my mom. My relationship with her probably needs some work.