Inspiration

God is faithful and will not let you be tried beyond your strength; but with the trial he will also provide a way out, so that you may be able to bear it (1Cor 10:13)

EASTER SUNDAY

Jesus is risen as he said, alleluia!

I look at the Easter Triduum as following the all-time favorite story line of good victorious over evil. If this were a movie, it would look like this. All the forces of evil are ranged against our hero. He is alone because his friends deserted him. But he is unfazed. The enemy attacks. He is overpowered and killed. The enemy shouts in triumph. The enemy gloats. But just when they think they have heard the last of him, something unexpected happens. The hero comes back to life. But he is not merely resuscitated. He is transformed, resurrected. He has become invincible and immortal. The enemy can no longer do him any harm. In fact, it is the beginning of the end for the enemy.

If the Easter triduum is a movie then it will easily qualify as a feel-good movie. I would be leaving the theater feeling good because the good had the last word.

But the Easter triduum is not a movie. It is for real. Jesus assures me that in the cosmic battle between good and evil, the final outcome is already certain. Evil is certainly powerful. But Good is even more powerful.

The battle between good and evil is taking place in me, too. I know how strong evil can be. I know how weak I am. But I have also known what the grace of Jesus risen from the dead has been able to do in me. Sometimes I am surprised myself.

The final outcome of the cosmic battle between good and evil is certain. But the final outcome of the battle of good and evil in me is not as certain. The problem is not with Jesus. The problem is with me. I am flesh and blood, weak and inclined to evil. And so I entrust myself to the kindness and mercy of Jesus who loved me and gave his life for me.

Black Saturday

Patay ang Diyos

After the celebration of the passion, there is the Santo Entiero procession. The dead Jesus is going to be buried. God is dead!

Well. not exactly. As the song goes, "God's not dead. He is alive."

Theologically. in Jesus there is only one person--the person of God. In Jesus there are two natures--the human and the divine. His human nature died and resurrected. His divine person and divine nature can never die.

Jesus died on the cross. We who are baptized in his name (that's why we are called Christians) should also nail our wicked deeds and desires on the cross. We are supposed to put to death the old man.

But that is not the end oi the story. We put to death the old man so that with Christ we can rise anew, that is, we now live in goodness.

Today I have gone to confession after some years. I have put to death my sins. I hope to start a new life. But I know that the evil inclinations in me are not totally dead. I know that a time will come when they will rear their ugly heads and I might sin again.

It does not matter. I will keep on trying. The saints are really no different from me--with this one crucial exception. They kept on trying.

SEVEN WORDS TO THE CROSS

The Siete Palabras are Christ's Last Words FROM the Cross. Bishop Fulton Sheen discovered that there were also Seven Words addressed TO the Cross.

1. From the passers-by: "You would pull the temple down, would you, and build it in three days? come down from the cross and save yourself, if you are indeed the Son of God.

2. From the good thief: "Jesus, remember me when you come to your throne."

3. From the bad (?) thief: "Are you not the messiah? Save yourself and us."

4. From the chief priests, scribes and Pharisees: "He saved others, but he cannot save himself. King of Israel, indeed! Let him come down now from the cross and then we will believe in him. Did he trust in God? Let God rescue him, if he wants him--for he said he was God's son.

5. From one who stood by: "Hark, he is calling Eliaj..Let us see if Elijah will come to take him down."

6. From the soldiers: "If you are the king of the Jews save yourself."

7. From the centurion: "Truly this Man was son of God."

Good Friday - The Seven Last Words

• MY GOD, MY GOD, WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?

(See reflection for Palm Sunday)

• I THIRST.

Was Jesus really thirsty and wanted water? Or did he mean something else? Was he perhaps longing for a response of faith from his people who were the original recepients of the Promise and who now were refusing his offer of salvation?

Does Jesus also thirst for my response of faith?

What is faith?

It seems it was Bishop Bacani who explained faith as paniniwala (belief), pagtitiwala (trust) and pagtalima (obedience). On God's instruction Abraham left his father's house to go to a foreign land. Abraham believed in God's word. He put his trust in God. He obeyed God's instruction. Abraham became a model of faith for us.

Faith seems to be so easy a response to give. But I realize there are two acts of faith I may not be ready to give yet. I can not as yet unconditionally accept that God loves me. I can not as yet believe without a shade of doubt that will take care of me.

But faith is a gift from God. I can only pray that one day I will be able to give my full response of faith to him.

• IT IS ACCOMPLISHED

"Look pa, no hands!" A child proudly shows his father his achievement. Although Jesus spoke these words when he was in agony on the cross, I can't help but imagining Jesus telling his Father proudly: "Pa, the work you gave me to do? I finally did it! Mission accomplished!"

What does God want me to do? Why did he bring me into this world? What is my life work?

In my heart of hearts I know he wanted me to do something for young people in the context of schools. But now that I have crossed the threshold of midlife, I am still searching. I am waiting to discover it.

And since midlife means being conscious of the remaining years of my life, there is some urgency is discovering it. I wouldn't want to die with many regrets. I wouldn't want to die having done nothing with my life.

• FATHER, INTO YOUR HANDS, I COMMEND MY SPIRIT.

If I were to translate this freely, it would read this way: Dad, ikaw na bahala sa akin. Jesus was entrusting himself to his Father. He could do so because he was so sure of his Father's love.

For me a father is one who provides, who protects. He is the one you can run to. You can rely on him because you can trust him. That is not how I look at God. Does this indicate that I have problem with relationships? With my parents perhaps?

I can't create a father-son relationship with God just by willing it. I don't know how that kind of relationship can be created. I can only pray for it.

• I SOLEMNLY ASSURE YOU. TODAY YOU WILL BE WITH ME IN PARADISE.

Fulton Sheen observed that the Good Thief was really good at "thievery" because even at the very end he managed to "steal" paradise.

That thief was really fortunate. As far as I know, he was the only one who was assured by Jesus himself of going to heaven.

Will I go to heaven? If the basis is the good I've done, then no way can I enter heaven. But if I rely on the goodness of God, then there is reason to hope.

I am further encouraged by the words of St Peter: God wants all men to be saved.

• FATHER, FORGIVE THEM FOR THEY DO NOT KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING.

Some people are able to forgive and forget quickly. I am one of those who hold on to hurts. And so through the years the anger is there in my heart. It is there dormant. But given the right stimuli, the anger awakens and poisons my mind and my heart.

I am not alone. C.S. Lewis confessed that it was only when he reached adulthood that he was able to finally forgive a teacher who had hurt him when he was a school boy.

I have been able to express my hurts to two people already. I know there is still some anger left in my heart. But I am really thankful that when I told them about the cause of my anger, they listened and did not defend themselves.

I am blessed that God is God and not man. I mean if God were like man, could I ever hope to be forgiven again and again? And because God is able to read into my heart and into my mind, I am certain that he knows what I am going through. I am confident that he understands me. And therefore, his judgment would be merciful.

• WOMAN, THERE IS YOUR SON. SON, THERE IS YOUR MOTHER.

I remember this story from way, way back. There was this boy who would pass by the statue of the Blessed Mother when he would go down the stairs. He would stop by her statue and say: Please be a mother to me. Then one day after he had said the usual formula, the Blessed Mother answered him by saying: "And when will you be a son to me?"

We Filipinos found it so easily to love the Blessed Mother. Why? Because she was presented to us as a mother and we Filipinos love our mothers fiercely.

My mother passed away many years ago. I miss her especially now because I am fixing my baby album. I see her pictures when she was a young mother. There are those pictures of her and me when I was a month and 26 days old.

I don't know but I am unable to relate to the Blessed Mother in the same way that I relate with my mom. My relationship with her probably needs some work.

Maundy Thursday - Eucharist and Priesthood III

A LIFE THAT IS "SAVED" IN ORDER TO SAVE

"This is my body which will be given up for you. This is my blood which will be shed for you and for the many."

A relative of mine who was Methodist and then turned Baptist once asked me: "Are you saved?" I was taken aback because that's not part of the regular discourse of Catholics. But the question is a valid one and needs to be answered.

My answer is: I have been saved for Jesus has already paid my ransom. That is why he is my redeemer. I hope to be saved. One day I hope to be with him forever in heaven. But today he is saving me. In my heart there is the battle between sin and grace, between good and evil. Jesus is there offering me both forgiveness and healing.

It has been a long time since I have confessed. I can count five or six years. Basically I have not been able to certain decisions that would make my confession meaningful. Perhaps I am ready now. Jesus has been extending his hand to me for so long and he has not taken it back. I am ready now to take his hand.

Jesus does not only offer me his forgiveness. He also offers me healing. Consequently the salvation he offers me is complete.

Jesus, I am weak-willed. Make me strong. Jesus, I am selfish. Make me generous. Jesus, I have poor self-esteem. Let me see myself as you see me. Jesus, I am fearful. Make me courageous. Jesus, I easily get upset. Give me equanimity.

But my faith is not strong enough. I do not have the faith that will enable you to grant me healing. Jesus, I believe. Strengthen my unbelief!

We are called to be holy as God is holy. But I don't dare talk of holiness. It feels so far beyond my reach. Let me just pray for reconciliation and the grace to overcome those defects that prevent me from being that kind of person according to your heart.

A LIFE THAT REMEMBERS

Do this in memory of me. Not only what he has done (life, death & resurrection) but he himself.

The Mass should be a moment when I bring to my awareness Jesus Christ, what he has done for me and who he is for me.

But the Mass should be the high point of the remembering that I should be doing throughout the day.

I set my watch to beep every hour. The beep invites me to remember Jesus.

The chapel is just around the corner. The visit to the Blessed Sacrament is a longer period of time to remember Jesus.

The morning devotion and the evening devotion is longer stretch of time to keep him in mind. I keep the morning devotion. But it is the evening devotion that I have not kept. Since October I have not showed up for our evening rendezvous. I have let other things take my time and attention.

That evening devotion seems to be crucial because having lost touch with him every evening, I have discovered to my dismay that I have also lost touch with myself and with who I am.

Jesus, I do need the self-discipline to pray once more every evening.

Pilgrimage to Lipa

Lipa Cathedral

I motored to Lipa this morning on a pilgrimage. I went to the Cathedral first. It is dedicated to St. Sebastian. And then to the Carmel Church. It was in the monastery of Carmel that the Blessed Mother was said to have appeared to a cloistered nun in the 1950's. Showers of petals of roses have been also reported at the time.

Because I was on pilgrimage the first thing I did was to reflect and to pray. It was edifying to see people arriving by cars and jeepneys come in and pray. I think they have started the Visita Iglesia early.

I also took my camera along and took some photos. Here are some of the photos I have taken.

Agony in the Garden

Jesus crosses his Rubicon

FLASHBACK.

Filled with the Holy Spirit, Jesus returned from the Jordan and was led by the Spirit into the desert for forty days, to be tempted by the devil.

What was the temptation all about? Commentators say that the devil was convincing Jesus to carry it out his task of Savior through means different from the way of the cross. Satan wanted him to save the world the easy way--by meeting men's physical needs (turn stone into bread), through power and glory ( Then he took him up and showed him all the kingdoms of the world in a single instant. The devil said to him, "I shall give to you all this power and their glory.), and through amazing feats (If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down from here, for it is written: 'He will command his angels concerning you, to guard you.)

But Jesus would not be swayed.

St. Luke ends his narrative by saying: When the Devil had exhausted every way of tempting Jesus, he left him until an opportune time.

FAST FORWARD.

The Garden of Gethsemane. Now is the opportune time. For the last time the Devil is trying to dissuade Jesus from going the way of the cross. We do not have any idea about the spiritual contest that is going on. But it must be extreme for Jesus is sweating blood.

Some lessons here.

We Christians are not masochists. But we do know that there is value in suffering. United with the passion of Christ, it has redeeming and healing value. When I visited a old relative in the hospital, I asked her to offer her sufferings for me.

Jesus was a man like us in all things, but sin. He knew what it was to be tempted. But He struggled. I too am tempted. But I do not struggle. Shame on me!

Christ Crucified

Chapel on the Hill

We adore you, O Christ and we bless you.
For by your holy cross you have redeemed the world.

Jesus asks me: "Do you know how much I love you?"
"How much, Lord?" I asked.
Jesus stretched out his hands on the cross and said: "This much!"

Maundy Thursday - Eucharist and Priesthood II

A LIFE THAT IS "GIVEN"
"Accipite et manducate. Accipite et bibite". Take and eat. Take and drink. Christ's self-giving, which has its origin in the Trinitarian life of the God who is Love, reaches its culmination in the sacrifice of the Cross, sacramentally anticipated in the Last Supper.

The cross was an act of self-giving. And every time we celebrate the Eucharist we are reminded of this self-giving. "Take this all of you and eat it. This is my body which will be given up for you. Take this all of you, and drink from it. This is the cup of my blood, the blood of the new and everlasting covenant. It will be shed for you and for all so that sins may be forgiven."

In the liturgy of the Mass of the Lord's supper this act of self-giving is highlighted with the re-enactment of the washing of the feet of the disciples. He was their teacher and master, yet he washed their feet. Both in life and in death Jesus proved himself true his words: "The Son of Man came to serve and not to be served and to give his life as a ransom for the many."

The priest is an "alter Christus" (another Christ). His celibacy/chastity (celibacy for the diocesan priest and chastity for the religious priest) makes him more available for self-giving to the people of God--just like Jesus Christ. Obedience--to the bishop for the diocesan priest and to the superior for the religious priest--also makes him more available for self-giving to the people of God. For me the icon that best expresses this self-giving is the Good Shepherd.

Self-giving is expressed in the service that the priest renders to the people of God. As priest the service that he renders is found eminently in the ministry of the Word & Sacrament.

MINISTRY OF THE WORD

At his ordination, the priest is entrusted with the gospel book because it is his duty to preach God's Word. He has to read the Gospel with dignity and with clarity (people need to understand what he is reading). Usually there is no problem here. The problem lies when he preaches the homily. A common complain of the people of God is that his preaching is shallow. It doesn't nourish the soul.

A first step to address this problem is preparation, both proximate and remote. He needs time to reflect on the Word and organize his thoughts. This is the proximate preparation. But then there is a remote preparation that assures depth. Reading and reflecting on God's Word must be a part of his priestly life. A soul that is immersed in the Word of God can not be shallow.

Sometimes a priest comes prepared but people can't relate to his preaching. I heard a young lay person speak about this problem and he has proposed a solution. The solution is not something that all priests can do. But it's worth giving it a try. He proposes a sharing of the Sunday Gospel by the priest with a group of lay people. The priest may first give the exegesis and then his reflection. The lay people in his group can give the layman's perspective of the Gospel as it applies to his life. The priest then can use this input from the lay people in the group for his Sunday preaching. It is this input which should enable the people relate with what the priest is saying.

MINISTRY OF THE SACRAMENT

The Sacraments are not just mere rituals. The sacraments are community celebrations. Priest and people should not just go through the motions of the Mass, for example. They should be carried out with dignity. They should appeal to eyes, ears, mind and heart. Priest and people should be moved by the beauty of celebration of the sacraments. I would like to focus on the celebration of the Eucharist.

The church should be clean. The vestments should be beautiful to behold. The decorations should be in good taste.

The movement of priests and altar servers should be dignified. The altar servers should know how to serve.

The sound system should be good. The people should hear what the priest and readers are reading and saying. Adjustments should be made before the Mass and not during the Mass.

No everyone can read--or rather proclaim--the Word of God. Voice quality and diction should be considered. And they need to practice before the Mass. You would be surprised to discover that you do not the pronunciation of certain words.

And finally, the music. Let the songs be varied and appropriate to the liturgical season. Let them be "sing-able". While it is legitimate for the choir to sing solo, it would be wrong for them to sing in place of the people. Their role is to lead the people to sing. And by the way the accompaniment can either make or break the singing. They should know their stuff. Their should practice, practice, and practice.

Whose responsibility is it to make all these things happen? The priest.

Maundy Thursday - Eucharist and Priesthood I

The Easter Triduum begins with the celebration of the Lord's Supper in the evening. It commemorates not only the giving of the commandment of love but also the gift of the two sacraments of Priesthood and the Eucharist. Hence, every year the Pope writes a letter to Priests for Holy Thursday. And because this is the Year of the Eucharist, the Letter takes its inspiration from the words of consecration at Mass.

And by the way, besides the Mass of the Lord's Supper in the evening there is also the Chrism Mass in the morning. In this Mass the Holy Oils are blessed. These Oils are used for the sacraments of Baptism, Confirmation, Holy Orders and Anointing of the Sick. This is also the Mass where the priests of the diocese concelebrate with their bishop in order to manifest the unity of the priesthood. For all of them share in the priesthood of Christ.

And now my reflections on the Holy Thursday letter of the Pope. I will focus on his reflection on the following words: HE TOOK BREAD AND GAVE YOU THANKS.

Jesus gave thanks. This is why the Mass is called the Sacrament of the Eucharist. Eucharist is Greek for thanksgiving.

Priests are to give thanks for the gift of Faith which they are tasked to proclaim and for the gift of the priesthood which consecrates them totally to the service of the Kingdom.

Thanksgiving is our response to the wonderful things that God has done for us. What has God done for me? For what things should I thank him? Let me count my blessings.

Although I have to live with hypertension for the rest of my life (it’s inherited), I am basically healthy. If I do get sick in a year, it would only be an inflamed throat. I can still climb mountains, though not as fast as before. I have to lose weight. (I’m obsese.) Some 40 pounds! But I’m not bed-ridden. I am not on a diet. (Walang mga bawal na pagkain.) Thank you, Lord, for the gift of health.

I am not a genius. But I think I am intellectually gifted. I have received awards for intellectual achievement. I have been able to earn a doctorate. Thank you, Lord.

I have been given positions of responsibility. I think that is a sign that my abilities are recognized and that I am trusted. Thank you, Lord, for my abilities and the opportunities to exercise leadership.

My dream has been to go abroad. I have been given the opportunity to do so countless times. In recent times I have been going abroad every year. Thank you, Lord, for the fulfillment of that dream.

I have not been deprived. My needs have been met. Abundantly at times. My teeth have been “repaired”. Soon I will be wearing retainers. I successfully underwent a Lasik procedure, though I have to wear reading glasses at times. I have been able to get two digital cameras. I do love photography as means of self-expression. But I also use these cameras for education and formation. I also have a camcorder and I have been able to produce videos for personal use but also for education and formation. I have access to ICT equipment (fast internet, PC, scanner, photo printers, and laptop). I have access to a new Revo GLX (not yet a year old). Thank you, Lord, because I am not in the state of misery.

When I experienced midlife transition, I was able to join a course for midlifers. That was a great grace from God. The journey is not over. A lot has to be done. But still I must thank you, Lord, for that gift.

I remember when I was 19 years old I had what they call an anchor experience (a religious experience). I didn’t see God. But I felt his presence. And it felt like I was in heaven. Thank you for that grace, too, Lord.

I’ll spend the rest of the day counting my blessings.

Palm Sunday

As we near the end of Lent, we celebrate Passion (Palm) Sunday. At the beginning of the liturgy, we receive palms in memory of Christ's triumphal entry into Jerusalem. As a symbol of triumph, the palms point us toward Christ's resurrection and might remind us of the saints in heaven "wearing white robes and holding palm branches in their hands" (Rev 7:9). The white robes remind us of baptismal garments, and the palms suggest their triumph over sin and death through the waters of Baptism. - Catholic Update

THE CROSS
This morning the Cooperators had their lenten recollection. They ended the recollection by watching the crucifixion scene of "The Passion of the Christ." I flinched every time the hammer hit the nails. And I admit I shed silent tears. At the end of the movie, we were all (is the word "sniffling?" The word just wouldn't come *blush*).

Ang pagpapakasakit ni Kristo ay ang kanyang pagmamalasakit para sa akin. Ang pagmamalasakit ay tanda ng pagmamahal. Naalala ko ang isang teacher na nagsabi sa akin na sumulat ang kanyang asawa na nagtatrabaho sa Saudi. Hirap na hirap na daw ito. Ngunit kailangan pa siyang magtrabaho doon kasi nag-aaral pa ang lahat ng kanyang mga anak.

Nagpapakasakit siya sa Saudi. Nagmamalasakit siya para sa kanyang mga anak. Bakit? Sapagkat mahal niya sila.

Mahal ako ni Jesus. Nagmalasakit siya para sa akin. Nagpakasakit siya sa krus para sa akin.

THE WORDS AT THE CROSS
"My God, my God, why have you forsaken me." You would think that Jesus had lost all hope. But that was not so.

Jesus was, in fact, praying Psalm 22 (remember the responsorial psalm). And Psalm 22 is a psalm of trust. For example, verse 27 reads: "For God has not spurned or disdained the misery of this poor wretch, Did not turn away from me, but heard me when I cried out."

What strikes me about this detail of Jesus praying Psalm 22 is that at the lowest point of his earthly life, Jesus found strenght in prayer. His prayer did not end at the Garden of Gethsemane. It continued to the end of his life when he exclaimed: "Father into your hands I commend my spirit."

I am weak. I lack self-discipline. I am cowardly. I lack courage. Jesus teaches me where to find strength and courage to face life and death. In prayer!

Memories

Memories. Without a past we would have no roots. We would feel incomplete. Something would be missing. So today I invited my dad and my sister to go back to the place where we lived when I was five years old. I wanted to refresh my roots.

I turns out that we lived in two houses in that area. The first house is no more. It is now a bus terminal. The second house is still there. It is a part of an apartment "complex". One of the things I remember was a party of all the residents. There was a dance contest. I still remember the dance. It's called the twist. I don't remember who my partner was. I also remember that I slept while the party was going on and when I woke up I asked my dad who won. I didn't, of course.

I also made a wonderful discovery. We migrated to Manila when I was three years old. But I still remember things that happened when we were still in the province. That means that those memories go as far back as when I was at least three years old. Isn't that amazing?

Let me share with you two memories. The first was the nursery school (or was it a play school?). I remember an american woman came. Her eyes were blue (I remember that detail!) and she took a picture of us. The flash was a flash bulb (another detail!). You use it once. I don't think the electronic flash was in existence already.

The second memory was the pasalubong of my dad. He was working in Manila. But he would visit us in the province (where mom and me lived) every weekend. At that time the NLEX was not yet in existence. La Mallorca and Pambusco were the buses then. When I woke up in the morning I would go and look for my pasalubong. He never failed to bring me a pasalubong.

Just now I have this inspiration. When I turn 50 I am going to write my autobiography. I want to write down those memories.

Preface

I created this blog for Holy Week. I would like to share with you my reflections on those days. I hope they will not ponderous. Hehehehe. I hope to come out with my reflections for Palm Sunday and the days afterwards.

I don't know if I can continue after Easter Sunday. Who knows?

BTW I chose ponderous pondering as url title of my blog just because it sounds nice. hehehehe.