23RD SUNDAY IN ORDINARY TIME (A)

“If your brother sins [against you]...."

Mt18:15-20

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This Sunday’s Gospel may be divided into two parts: (a) Steps to be taken when you are offended by a member of the Christian community; and (b) the power of the prayer of the Christian community. The first part begins with the words: ““If your brother sins against you….” The second part begins with the words: “if two of you agree on earth about anything for which they are to pray….”

To be a Christian is something between God and me. In other words, to be a Christian believer is a private matter. Agree or disagree? Many people will agree with this statement. That it is a private matter. But the gospel today disagrees. The two teachings of this Sunday assume that to be a Christian means to belong to a community. To be Christian means to belong to a church. In fact, the Greek word for church (“ekklesia”) means an assembly or a gathering. For this reason there is the church or Christian community called a parish, then a diocese, then the church in a country and finally, the universal church.

As I have said, today’s Gospel contains two teachings about life in this community or church. The first teaching is how to deal with broken relationships. When someone offends you or you offend someone, this results in a broken relationship. When someone behaves badly, especially when it gives the community a bad name, this results in a broken relationship between the individual and the community.

So what do you do? Jesus counsels a low-key approach. Go to the erring brother or sister and tell him or her his or her fault. For example, “When you gave away the chocolate I gave you, I felt offended.” You state specifically the offending behavior and then how it has affected you. Another example. “When your father saw you low grades, he felt that you did not appreciate the sacrifices he has made by working outside the country.” These are called a “you messages”.

But sometimes, the first step that we should take is to verify whether something is true or not. For example, “This morning you did not return my greeting. Were you angry with me?” Or “I heard from an office mate that you said that I was flirting with so and so. Is it true?” More often than not, “chismis” is nothing else but a made up story.

If the offending person refuses to accept his fault, then bring along one or two others in the hope that the offending person will be convinced that the fault you are pointing out to him is not just your opinion, but that it is really a fault.

The third stage is about excommunication, and it is for very serious matters only. It is to bring the fault to the attention of the community. And if the offending member still refuses to accept his fault, the community must treat him like a Gentile or tax collector. That is, treat him like an outcast. A Catholic who is excommunicated may attend Mass but cannot receive Holy Communion, for example. He cannot be buried in a Catholic cemetery.

Sometimes the excommunication is formal. Fr. Daniel of Brazilwas excommunicated by his bishop because he refused a direct order from his bishop to apologize for or retract his statement that love was possible between people of the same sex. The priest also said a married person who chose to have an affair, heterosexual or otherwise, would not be unfaithful as long as that person's spouse allowed it.

At other times the excommunication is automatic. For example, everyone involved in an abortion is automatically excommunicated.

Excommunication is meant to make it very clear to the person who is excommunicated that his behavior or his teaching is unacceptable. It is meant to wake up the person (“matauhan”) and thus, be moved to repentance. An American Sister who allowed an abortion was excommunicated but repented and was later reconciled to the Church.

Finally, the gospel for this Sunday ends with these words: “If two of you agree on earth about anything for which they are to pray, it shall be granted to them by my heavenly Father. For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.”

I use Facebook not only as a social media but also as a media for evangelization and promotion of Don Bosco. There have been instances when I would be updating my posts that a message would pop up asking for prayers. A few days ago I received this message: “father pa help po pa pray mom ko na makalabas na sya hospital and good health po. Tnx.” I am sure that I was not the only one he asked to pray for his mom. This alumnus of DB Mandaluyong was taking advantage of the power of prayer of many.  At the same time, let us truly say a prayer when requested. It really doesn’t take long. And it doesn’t take many words. In this particular case, I prayed like this: “Please, Lord, do take care of his mom.”

Today’s Gospel gives us two lessons to bring home with us: (1) Regarding relationships: Let us verify whether an offense was really committed. If an offense was committed, let us use “you messages”, that is, let us state the offending behavior and then how it has affected us. Having one or two to back us up may be helpful. And (2) The prayer of many is powerful. And when we are asked for prayers, let us really say a prayer.